Penny wise Pound foolish

Petrol prices increased... again.

A very familiar scene on the day before the price hike is a long queue in every petrol station you can see. This is a classic illustration of the Penny-wise-Pound foolish saying.

Lets get some perspective.

-> The hike in the price of petrol is rupees 8 per litre.

-> You probably saw the news, grabbed the car keys and rushed to the petrol bunk but a dozen or so other cars already beat you to it. You still wait for your turn. All the time, the car is on ( how can anyone stay without the AC? right? ).

-> You finally get your turn after half an hour of waiting.

-> You already knew at the back of your mind you won't get your tank filled.

-> You get around 10 litres of petrol.


Congratulations! You just made a mindblowing saving of 80 rupees. Hold on a second!

Weren't you waiting for petrol for half an hour with the engine on? Yes you were! You probably lost half a litre there. So your mighty saving takes a hit by 50%.

You still saved 40 rupees. And you look smug and gloat about it in front your friends later.

Just take the damn bus to work for a day and you will have saved a lot more than just money.





 

Overabundant supply

The next time there is a National Census, along with asking all the usual questions like
->how many family members?
-> Do you get electricity regularly? etc, there should be another question, just for fun.

-> How many of your family members have received some sort of cricket training?

It is exciting to see so many kids taking up cricket nowadays. Definitely not good for sport, in the country as a whole, but as a cricketer, I feel happy knowing that if I'm unemployed in the future, I can always open a cricket coaching centre and know that people will flock there even if they don't actually learn anything.

In a way this is not the fault of the trainers at the coaching centre. Parents have extremely high expectations, and they convince their children that they're the new sachin tendulkars of cricket. I vividly remember the face of a parent who was told that his son was a good bowler. He looked as though he was kicked in the balls. He wanted his son to be a batsman! Heights of expectation!

Everyone wants to be T20 ready in a matter of months and then play for the state team as early as possible.
Ranji and the IPL should happen in 5 years! A friend even had the gall to ask me, "I want to play first division cricket. Where should I sign up?" Sigh. This is what money makes of people.

The plan sounds like a government's 5 year plan, and we all know how that works out!

Anyway, coming back to the matter in hand, we are being riddled with too many cricketers. Too much is too bad right? So I thought of some alternate professions for our rich stock of cricketers.


1) Invest in other sports. Tennis for example. Cricket can never again be accused of over shadowing other sports. We will supply free ball boys for all ATP tours. All they have to do is catch and throw right? They might even offer some sideline entertainment trying to dive for the ball to catch it. To make sure there's participation, have a small "Best Fielder" trophy for every tennis match.

2) Sports goods manufacture. The ONLY people who are enjoying this outbreak of cricket enthusiasts.

3) Baseball! very similar to cricket. Baseball and Basketball are still the only probable aveues in which "Indians are not involved. Its our Uncle Sam. He will accept us, no worries.

4) How come there still isn't a reality show based on cricket? Entertainment!

This post is brought to you by the lazy superstitious idiot who thinks a mindless tradition like blogging before exams will better his performance in the exam. But then again, all is fair in love, war and exams.

Ciao

Analysis and Design of Serials!

I have done it! I have found it! Eureka!

We all know formula movies are passe. (They are not strictly passe, they're just under the tag of "timepass movies"), but how many of us still have to endure irritating serials!

After extensive study and careful analysis, I have come up with the perfect algorithm using which any of you can come up with your very own kannada soap!

The Algorithm will be presented in Natural Language.

Step 1: Start

Step 2: Introduce a family- Typically a rich family having a lucrative family                        business.

substep 1: Introduce the widow (family elder). If not a widow then a healthy                         couple. If (family elder== widower) #Algorithm fail.

substep 2: Introduce the siblings. Very close to each other. Wives of siblings have                 a history

substep 3: Introduce jealous, not-so-well-off relatives.

substep 4: Introduce traditional business rival/villain. If(person == rival && person != villain) { person will soon be a relative when the prodigal son falls in love with the shy demure daughter of rival }

Step 5: Induce death/kidnap of a family member of perfect family.

Step 6: No small kids allowed.



Step 7: while (episode count < 2000) execute subroutine vamp

subroutine vamp:
-> Introduce new vamp/villain.

-> Introduce mysterious complications in business leading to strained relations between one or more siblings. Usually one of the siblings walks out after a fight.

-> Vamp success phase. All plans of vamp succeeds. Main characters suddenly become extremely moronic and fall into all kinds of traps. (min 350 episodes )

-> Hero phase. Vamp is defeated by extreme clever cunning on part of main characters which was hitherto unseen.

-> A previous vamp/villain becomes a die-hard friend.

-> One of the characters becomes pregnant but tragically loses baby. Vamp's revenge.

-> Hum saath saath hia phase. Everyone is happy.

->return.


Step 8: If (TRP is good && old people become more senile seeing the soap)
             {
                 conduct public discussions.
                 goto Step 7.
              }

Step 9 : Stop.