Ma.. ma.. Marriage???

This probably comes under "Things to do when one is bored" which for me is most of the day, so I end up experimenting with a lot of stuff. Lol, I'm not talking about getting married when one is bored, its just the exercise that I am going to recommend.

My uncle (mom's brother) is 37 years old and still unmarried. As a ritual, my mother goes through all the websites like shaadi.com, justmarry.com, jeevansaathi.com, hoping to find a suitable bride for him (I'm going to speak about the suitable part later). I on the other hand give him some more sensible websites to refer to like howtopickachick.com, howthehelldoigetagirl.com, godhelpmeineedagirl.com and other such extremely informative sites. Another every morning ritual is going through the "classifieds" sheet in the newspaper to look for adverts for grooms. This responsible work has been given to me :D and its something i completely enjoy doing. Reading this page is better than any joke book in the whole world. For example...

1. This is an advert for a groom...
Handsome, well educated, matured, smart groom required for vvf(stands for very very fair), cultured, smart, educated girl. Groom should be over 6 ft. Age difference below 5 years. Should be interested in music.

I mean.. WTF do the girl's parents mean by matured?? how do they think they are going to know if the guy who is actually going to marry their daughter is matured? Or do they think that a guy's parents are going to say " OMG they are asking for a matured guy, is my son matured?" The music part is awesome... the girl's parents probably refer to karnatic music, probably because the girl has learnt singing, but what if he turns out to be a hardcore metal/death metal fan?

2. Advert for a bride...
vvf, cultured, gentle and caring girl required for well educated, well paid software executive. Should not be working. Should be well versed with ways and means of brahmin family.

3. THIS FOLKS, IS THE HEIGHTS OF EXPECTATION...
advert for a groom...
Good looking, well educated.. blah, blah blah... groom required for beautiful.. blah, blah blah bride. (Now comes the fun part.. )
*** THE GROOM SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY BROTHERS... IF HE HAS, THEN THEY SHOULD BE LIVING SEPARATELY.
*** THE GROOM SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY SISTERS... IF HE DOES, THEY SHOULD BE MARRIED.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD HAVE INDEPENDENT MEANS OF INCOME.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD NOT OBJECT TO THEIR SON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW LIVING SEPARATELY.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD NOT OBJECT TO THEIR SON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW GOING ABROAD.

I mean WTF do they mean by this whole message. The girl's father should be thrashed and beheaded and his head put up near the entrance to the city with words "MORON" written on his forehead. What does he think marriage is? Guess he would rather prefer the guy's parents dead than alive. Which parent would not want his son to stay with him during his old age? And who would ever want to marry a girl with so many conditions. I guess the unfortunate soul who actually marries her will have to sign a contract or some such thing with more than a 100 other such meaningless clauses.
It wont be surprising if the contract contains clauses like the girl prefers this brand of toilet paper and that the toilet in the groom's house should be maroon in color. Or that the house should have a rose plant and that the guy's parents should not object to her picking roses.

Anyway, I'm not the one getting married so I'm safe and I had my share of laughter reading this. It is kind of scary seeing the increasing demands of the bride's parents. I'm not bothered about all that for atleast a decade. I bet the next generation of grooms will have to pay a "groom"al fee to actually woo the bride's family.

This is a very enjoyable and pleasant exercise. Please read the alliance section of the classifieds sheet as frequently as you can. It is a very enjoyable read. :D

Ciao, and be careful when you marry.. :P

P.S. This topic actually requires atleast 10 more posts, but i really dont have the patience to type all that. Please comment...

P.P.S I forgot to write about the "Suitable" tag for the bride... I will try to write that in the next post if I have the mood.

P.P.S. Exams suck... they suck and should be banned.