The Two-face dog

I know I shouldn't be doing this. I can also predict the fairly dire consequences that await for wasting an hour's time blogging, but when the whole world conspires to keep you from studying, there is little that you can do to resistht the waves of distraction.

At no other time can you have such profoundly meaningful insights into so many things that will in no way help you in the exam tomorrow. At no other time can you appreciate the hypnotic quality of the arrangement of seeds in a pomegranate. At no other time can you truly reflect upon the illegibility of your handwriting. At no other time can you come across fascinating discoveries like the mole which was hidden all these years amidst the hair on your head. At no other time can you imagine "lol" looking like a drowning man. Well, you get the drift...

As everybody will have experienced, "study holidays" make for some of the most interesting time in a person's life. Be it watching movie after movie, flipping past pages with zero concentration, the sudden berserker-like urge punish yourself for wasting time and the occasional piece of information which is promptly forgotten, study holidays are extremely useless. (for me atleast).

If you are thinking about how the topic of this post is related to everything that I have said above, dont bother thinking. there is no connection.
I had intended to blog about a badly injured dog which had half its face siphoned off and was looking like "Two Face"'s pet dog. and my attempt at getting some medical help for the poor creature.

An hour is wasted! the urge to blog has subsided, and now its the time of panic to set in and give me some much wanted seriousness.

May the force be with you.

P.S. The credit for coming up with "lol" looking like a drowning man goes to Abhijit.

Bunkitis

Blogging for the first time from a laptop. Not even a sentence down and this thing is already testing my patience. It's hard to shift from a proper desktop keyboard to this small, feather sensitive keyboard.

There was this SMS joke which was doing the rounds a few weeks back. "Why was Vishveshwaraiah such a good engineer?" "Coz he didn't study under VTU". Lame as it may sound, after completing almost one semester under an almost VTU-like syllabus, I'm bound to agree with whoever created that joke.

The classes are dominated with the "izzzzit"s of my maths professor and the "wadijit"S of my chemistry prof. And not to be left out is our dearest Constitution of India teacher (Bolamma.. pronounce it as you will!) who has this amazing knack of continuing to teach even when its blatantly obvious that nobody is listening. The best teacher presently is our EVS prof. I say he's the best because he never comes to class and always lives up to our expectations and bunks whenever we want him to.

The general feeling in all classes is the urge to physically throw the teacher out of the class or scream in frustration. This is infact the first symptom of "bunkitis". A condition often found in frustrated college-going students. Other symptoms include constant boredom, hands which refuse to part with the mobile phone, sudden interest in the colour of the flowers in a distant tree, and in extreme cases, a sudden urge to get up and sing in class.

Bunkitis is a plague. One person can transfer it easily to lots of other people. The rate of transfer of the plague is directly proportional to the closeness of friendship and the abundant availability of pocket money. In rare cases, when the whole class temporarily has the plague, a phenomenon known as "mass bunk" is found to occur. Mass bunks are rare and are more often than not foiled attempts.

After a lot of research, a cure was found for "bunkitis", much to the dismay of the student community. It was found that "guilt" is the best medicine there is to prevent bunkitis. This research proved effective in the early 1990s but was soon proved redundant by the most recent batch of patients whose brains find it very hard to generate the required level of guilt to effectively tackle this disease.

A brilliant breakthrough was produced by college authorities to tackle this menace. "Attendance shortage", the latest drug available in all colleges is a sureshot way to cure people of this disease temporarily. But even this cannot guarantee complete cure as "bunkitis" resumes it work on the human brain as soon as "minimum attendance cut-off" is reached.

The student mind is probably destined to forever be in the clutches of this disease.
More on bunkitis when I get affected by it, which will be in a week or two!

Ciao... May the force be with you.

Fashion faux pas

I was going through Bangalore Times yesterday, as part of my daily after college ritual. Along with all the loads of celebrity gossip and the various completely idiotic yet completely convincing relationship advice, there are also posts on fashion. All these days I was ignoring these articles and yesterday, in a fit of boredom I actually did read the complete article.

It was worth it! My fashion sense still remains zero but I did manage to have a good laugh. I don't understand fashion.
Firstly, all those horrible things they do to clothes just makes it seem like a waste of good cloth.
Secondly, most of the things they drape models with rarely fits anybody other than them.
Thirdly, most of their designs (especially the summer collection) seems too garish to wear in decent company.

Some of the clothes that do make it to the market (and are wearable) are too bloody expensive for the common man to purchase. Such being the case, I wonder how that whole industry survives on the clothing equivalent of gluttony on the part of a few millionaires.

Most importantly, I doubt if many people understand fashion. I was reading about the "fashion advice" that these fashion gurus give to people like us. And how moronic are all of us who go by their taste of clothing. Something that they say is suddenly the "in thing" and something that somebody refuses to use suddenly becomes outdated. There are few people who pull the fashion strings and crown themselves the fashion-makers.

Should we let the tastes of a few people rule our cupboards? Should we lets the whims and fancies of a few people allow us to mimic stars and lose our individuality? I don't think so. Fashion is surprisingly one of the biggest industries today and I suppose there are many out there who disagree with me.

A beautiful woman looks beautiful in whatever she wears (the gay types please look elsewhere). I don't think that by wearing pink shoes with a black dress suddenly makes her sprout hitherto unseen pimples and freckles and suddenly go out of shape and make her look hideous.

Beauty is skin deep!

And don't get me started with the "bikini collection". Nobody cares what damn designs you do on them. They are never seen or noticed. If you do start looking at the designs then you must seriously reconsider you orientation.

Ciao

Hostly Duties

I had the opportunity to go to a function(along with my family of course) the past weekend. It was a religious event and hence the host's duties were limited.

This post is a critical examination on the multifaceted duties a host has to play... with more stress on food.

Hostly Duty (H.D) 1: It is imperative that you cook for twice the number of people you have invited. This is for 2 reasons. Running out of food is disastrous. It gives you licence to perform the following HDs.

H.D.2: There is no such thing as a full stomach. Loading the plates of the guests until they are an inch from puking on you is considered a very gracious thing to do.

H.D.3: From H.D.1, it can be inferred that there will be lots of food left after lunch. Have a backup guest list to fall back to to clear all that good food for the night.

H.D.4: Insulting, taunting and angering thin people during lunch and dinner is an "ok" thing to do (not if you are the one being taunted).

H.D.5: Dialogues of self loathing after serving one round of food or talking about one's limited expertise when it comes to cooking is observed to be the best way to end anybody's hopes of criticizing your food.

H.D.6: Be careful and don't let anybody serve you your food. (People like me are always waiting to take revenge).


This probably happens in every house (with a few minor changes of course). It is quite amusing that guests, even with the prospect of undergoing such torture, feel let-down and insulted if they are not tortured.

Ciao..

Conversations

In life we have to put up with a lot of things. A lot of nonsense, a lot of people, a lot of supposed intellectuals and instances where all you can do is smile and say "you are right" even though your brain is screaming at you to correct a factual error or just a downright idiotic deduction.

With friends, one has the liberty of stopping the other person or interrupting him in any way possible and put in your point of view. People doing that (me, mostly) are often unwelcome guests in a conversation. And some people (me again!) learn to put up with that and smile inwardly looking at people making a fool of themselves.

It is even more irritating during group conversations among relatives, usually during a function. All the supposed intellectuals come out with all their fine oratory skills to impress a point, often a misinterpretation or a devastatingly idiotic deduction, upon the non-attention-seeking crowd. The ones who are not blessed with the same oratory skills butt in the middle to add mirch masala (read more nonsense), with constant nodding of the head.

Please do not mistake me. It is a treat to listen to people who actually know what they are speaking about.

The usual ice breaker when it comes to a group conversation is politics. And after the usual cursing of all the people and policies of the government, the quasi orators take central stage in discussing a recent political event. Some of the wannabe orators usually come up with a good Deve Gowda curse and the others stop their respective conversations to curse in unanimity. The wannabe then stops with a smug smile on his face.

Then begins the fun part... Especially when they discuss modern technology. example iPhone 4. Some of the features attributed to the iPhone make it seem like a supercomputer! Then there is always another group which will be discussing banking and economics. The conversations are usually loaded with big words like economic instability, self correction mode of the market, etc etc which no one understands, but to which everyone nods their heads.

And in every family, there is always someone who is from Amway and keeps trying to get other to join the network marketing chain.

I might be wrong, I might be right. In either case, this was my observation in a recent function.

Cheers

P.S. Happy Birthday Mahatma Gandhi!
P.P.S Happy birthday to my mobile :)

The boring Bangalore crowd

Shreya Ghoshal and Sonu Nigaam were in town! And that simple sentence is probably enough to get your attention. They were performing at the APS college grounds in Basavanagudi as part of the Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations. And the cost of the entry ticket was.. wait for it... zero!! That's right. It was free.

And as with everything free in India, the number of attenders was indeed a lot. Young and old alike stood in the queue to enter the concert. And as usual, there were the few self assuming "senior citizens" who bulldozed past many of us who were standing in the queue just because they are old. Now, I have nothing against old people or queues. Its just the combination that I'm not too fond of. A note to all people who might organize such concerts... please have a separate special queue for "senior citizens", and you will be able to cope with half of your problems. Have separate seats reserved for "Senior Citizens" and hence put all party-poopers in one basket.

What is the main intention of attending a concert? To have fun and to listen to music. and what to these housewives and old grandmothers do? come to the concert and talk family politics. Such killjoys. And then there were the ones who believed that they were attending a serious classical recital. They sat there with their strict, emotionless pokerfaces and expected everybody to do the same. Another category of people included the ones who wanted to have fun but feared their lowering in social stature if they went with the flow.

All in all, the Bangalore crowd (read, basavanagudi crowd) is a very boring one. If anybody is planning to go, please go there with a large group if you want to have fun, ?If not, enjoy listening to family problems along with bits and pieces of every song.

P.S. Shreya Ghoshal... You rock!!!

Ciao

Height of Inspiration

College started at last! And there came an end to our seemingly never ending holidays. Now that classes have started in full swing, I did find it difficult to get back to the serious listening mindset. (in other words the tactical, repeated nodding of the head, irrespective of whether the teacher is making sense or not) My college campus is pretty good. Much better compared to Jain college anyways. The canteen is nice and the cup noodles bloody expensive. Other than that, this actually seems like a good place to spend 4 years.

Mr. N.R.Narayana Murthy was the chief guest for the inauguration function. It sounded as though BMS college had borrowed the old speakers from our very own railway station. The sound quality was horrible and I was forced to lip-read in order to understand what they were all saying. This was the only bummer in an otherwise pretty good program It seems Mr.Murthy had 100% attendance in his Engineering college!

The first two days in college were boring. We were introduced to our respective departments, visited the library and the sports dept. We had some Self motivational classes which were intended to inspire and motivate us.

The lady who talked seemed to be teaching us english rather than motivating us. She finally put across a few motivational points and one of them was asking all of us to smile at each other.

After enduring all that for a couple of hours, I say a classmate of mine (dunno the name though) grinning maniacally at me from across the parking lot. It was a very weird experience.
A bit of advice to all the "easily-motivated"... Please think a little before you try and implement all that people ask us to do.

Ciao

Marriages

And once again I find myself writing about marriages!

I just came back from a certain marriage. It sucked! Sucked because I didnt know anybody there. The only person I knew in the whole hall was my Grandpa along with whom I had gone there.

9 30 AM sharp, we reached there. And at first we thought we were in the wrong place as even my Grandpa couldn't recognize anybody there. Finally we found one old person who was giving us a look as if thinking "that fellow looks familiar". And after talking to him for about 5 minutes and going back 5 generations, both my grandpa and him were convinced that they were related in some way. Thank god for that... I was hungry.

And after having a frugal breakfast of a couple of idlis, we went to sit down... believe it or not.. right in the first row! There was my grandpa happily waving to people who politely waved back... not having a clue who he was. And with every person who had the misfortune to smile and wave back had to endure another 10 minutes of finding out how they were related to us. Even at this time folks, I had no clue whether I was from the bride's side or the groom's side.

All this time I was happy looking at the fun and then came someone who actually knew who my grandpa was. As they exchanged pleasantries, his eyes fell on me and after studying me intensely for a moment, the following conversation took place.. I'll call the other person X and Grandpa G

X: Is this your grandson?

G: Yes.

X: (Looking at my face again) What is his name?

G: Shreyas

X: Ok... (again looking at my face) What is he doing now?

Me: (clearing my throat) I finished my II PU uncle

X considered me talking to him an insult and walked away.

After that particular incident, we had nothing to do and sat in the front row and watched the festivities going on.

I don't understant why all the women who attend a marriage think it is a sin to wear the same saree for more than 2 hours during a wedding. Looking at the number of women who attend a function and considering the number of sarees they have to change, every marriage hall invariably has one room set aside for all of 'em to change their sarees. Such a room is usually guarded by an elderly lady who's job it is to view every member of the opposite sex who is over 5 years old with suspicion and they shout "Ladies are changing here. Go away" at the top of her voice everytime an unsuspecting kid walks by.

Then there are the cool gangs of cousins who take pleasure in defying their parents' every command while with their cool gang. It was fun watching mothers tell their teenage kids to do some work and then watch as the teenagers coolly said "no".
The worst thing you can do when you go to a marriage, especially one of a far away relative.. stay out of sight of the Grandpa gangs. You will invariably be drawn into conversations related to relationships between individuals which refuses to get any lower then 5 generations.

Its worse for someone who has just completed his II PU as almost everyone you talk to will appoint themselves as the Career counsellor you were searching for all this time and talk nonsense about how an MBA is useless and then talk to you of some relative's son/daughter who is doing his/her MBA and is having a horrible time.

Finally! there was food. And the food was pretty good. So I hogged and came home as early as possible.

End of day1... I'm dreading day 2 which is tomorrow.
Hope I fall sick long enough to bunk tomorrow's marriage.

CIAO

Send d msg again pls..

I am ashamed to admit it. But I have become addicted to my mobile. And its not even an year old! I got my cell phone on Gandhi Jayanti last year. There were blessings from Gandhiji and curses from my parents as they strongly believed that it will spawn an addiction. It is very funny how your parents' warnings fall on deaf years only to sheepishly accept after a few days that they were right. Pride and Ego prevent me from actually telling my parents this but everyone knows the truth eventually.

Coming to the point, I had to give my phone to a cousin for a few days as his brand new cell conked as soon as he stylishly took it for a swim. Thus, I was mobile-less for a couple of days. It was shocking how dependent I had become on it and every now and then there was an imaginary vibration in my pocket. Another alarming sign of mobile addiction is the sudden and drastic fall in your ability to write grammatically correct english without any spelling mistakes. The only way to counter this is by reading lots of novels and the newspaper is a compulsory read.

Vodafone seems to have made up its mind to irritate me. None of the SMSes I have sent are going in their entirety. And my inbox is filled with "pls send the msg again" msges.

All this free time is infuriating actually. There are moments when you lose interest to do anything and the only relief is shouting in frustration. Keeping a sane head at these times is a challenge indeed. An idle mind is indeed a devil's workshop. ( I seem to be catching the Geetha Madhusudan bug here). Life becomes as irritating as seeing Rakhi Sawant. Coming to Rakhi Sawant... I would love to see her married to Rahul Mahajan! That will be the TV show of the century. especially if their day to day activities are captured on film. There will be no need for further comedy.

Things I do when I'm bored...

1) Identify a route through your house which visits all rooms and keep walking on the same route over and over again. It helps if there are small tiles on the floor as you can then concentrate on keeping your foot inside the tile without touching the edges.

2) Watch sitcoms... They are an amazing way to kill time.

3) Brood on philosophical mysteries... you feel ridiculous after some time. But the longer you can keep the act up, the more time you will kill.

4) Plan perfect marriages.. Example: Rakhi Sawant and Rahul Mahajan..

I'm bored of typing as well now!
Ciao

No passion.. no curiosity...

The title describes my mindset of late. No enthusiasm. No interest to do anything other than sit idly and stare at the computer. I had been warned many times about the apparent dulling influence that a movie or a TV show has on you if you watch too much of it. Much to my dismay (and the delight of my mother) it is true. The mind goes blank and often stays blank after watching a movie. And there is still the annoying part after the movie where the movie starts replaying in your head. Often at dangerous times like while driving or dodging a particularly nasty bouncer.

It is true that we are all very much influenced by the company we keep. That story, about two parrots who get separated during a storm and end up in a sage's ashrama and a dacoit gang respectively, is ringing in my ears. I have started acting quite unlike myself when in my gang of cricket friends.

1) Swearing now sounds like a way of talking. A sentence without any expletives is usually replied to with another sentence which is usually loaded quite heavily with the ones that you didn't want to use.

2) I am learning the art of laughing at defeats and the humbling, ego destroying revelations that there are always people who are better than you. It is quite a blow to your ego when you are made to sit out on a match you badly wanted to play. And the punishment for even a little whimper of disappointment is another match as a waterboy. I felt this is a wonderful way of beating into people like me that we are not bigger than the team and that the show will go on even if we're too hot headed to notice it.

3) There is no use being a little good at everything. One has to be good at everything or there is no place for him in this world. There should always be a drive to attain perfection.

Enough about cricket. Read a Sidney Sheldon during the past week. Was an awesome read!

Saw a death during the past week. And I did not realize that you should try and squeeze out a few tears while the mourning period lasts. Its nigh impossible for a person like me. So had a brilliant idea! stood in front of the smoke and volunteered to keep it burning. The smoke from the fire automatically brought the tears to the eyes and then it was just a simple matter of putting up a face which goes well with the tears. It sounds scandalous I know.

Lets hope this post marks the beginning of another bout of regular blogging. Comments welcome as always. May the starts watch over you. Use some sunscreen lotion if you want the stars to watch over you in the mornings as well :P (bad joke bad joke)
CIAO

Where have the divas gone??!

Wimbledon 2010... lots of memorable events. Federer failing to make the semifinal of a Grand Slam after a long long long time. John Isner and Nicolas Mahut playing that marathon 11 hour match. The women's section has been really boring though. The upsets have stopped surprising everybody because they have become so common. And as usual we have Serena Williams bulldozing her way past everybody and in yet another Wimbledon final.

Full credit to one little known Philipp Petzschner. It was a sight indeed seeing the long lost serve-and-volley game being put to such effective use. Damn it.. its good to just see someone attempt the serve-and-volley as almost everybody is content to keep putting ball after ball in the opposite court. The very essence of Wimbledon is the serve and volley. But very few playing it. That is why I Was a great admirer of Frenchman Fabrice Santoro a.k.a The Magician. That guy would attempt drop shots on the opponents' first serves'!! A brave man indeed!

Just where have the pretty faces in Womens' tennis gone?! where are the new Kournikovas? All I see nowadays are big burly Europeans with horrible grimaces and painfully loud grunts. Tennis seriously lacks the pretty faces.
Tsvetana Pironkova... the semifinalist is a pleasant enough face. As usual we have very pretty Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova. Elena Dementieva to some extent... but absolutely no drop-dead-gorgeous women. Caroline Wozniacki, the ill fated Dane who partnered Sania Mirza is one helluva nice girl. She managed to smile through the whole match. If it was me with Sania, I would have beaten her to a pulp because of the sheer number of unforced errors. Well done Wozniacki!

I remember a certain Czech player.. Likhovtseva, a leftie who was pretty good looking. Justine Henin was not too bad herself. Anyway, I hope we get to see more pretty girls playing more pretty tennis rather than big, burly, muscular women trying to tear the fur off the ball.

Keep the Serve-and-Volley alive!
May RAFA lose!

Books that I read...

This is probably the twentieth that I have attempted to write something on this blog. The nineteen previous times, I spent looking at the monitor with a complete blank expression waiting for something to miraculously appear on the screen. No luck so far.

One cn say I have made some use of the holidays so far. That makes a few extra hours spent at home even more tiresome to spend. Read quite a lot of novels since the exams, most of them begged, borrowed and stolen (then duly returned back of course!) Will try and summarize the few that were good.

1) The Palace of Illusions - Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni...

Heard of "The Mistress of Spices"? the Aishwarya Rai starring English movie? The book was authored by this lady.
The Palace of Illusions is the Mahabharatha itself. The only change is this time, the story is being narrated by Draupadi. The narration is beautiful. Though somewhat blasphemous, it captures the more humane parts of the epic which I'm sure our grandparents conveniently forgot to tell us. Not a book recommended if you are a staunch believer of the devoutness of Draupadi. Truly, the Mahabharatha revolves around Draupadi. A book worth reading.

2) The Jeeves Omnibus - Pelham Grenville Wodehouse...

Amazing writer! Looking at his face you will never imagine that he is the kind who can make you execute a proper ROFL. His witticism coupled with an amazing sense of timing makes him one of a kind. Go read his books for a true feel of comic writing.

3)If you love someone... - Harimohan Paruvu...

The second book of the author. The first being "The Men Within". A short novel which is a love story with a difference. It is not the stereotypical teenage boy meets teenage girl - they fall in love - get married - lose interest in each other- finally love conquers all kind of story. A very refreshing take on love, life and sacrifice. A must read is you are a die hard romantic. (have always been amused by this phrase "die hard romantic", it sounds ironic)

4) I Robot - Isaac Asimov...

Isaac Asimov is a genius. These stories revolve around the three laws of robotics which govern all robots working in the world. The earth now has colonies on the Moon, Mars and Mercury. The stories are narrated by Susan Calvin, a RoboPsychologist. Weird term.. but a very nice read.

5) One Amazing Thing - Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni...

What do you do when you are stuck amidst the ruins of the Indian visa office in America after an earthquake with people from different ethnicities all having no hope of survival? you sit in a circle and tell each other stories from your life. Beautiful storytelling this time as well.

6) The Immortals of Meluha - Dont remember the author :P

This is Shiva's story. Written by someone who obviously has no sense of the devoutness which comes with the name "Shiva". The first of a trilogy, it tries to tell us the story of the lord of a mountain tribe who becomes the savior of an advanced race called Meluha.

Looking forward to reading more books. I'm reading "The temple goers" by Aatish Taseer. The book has started promisingly. Let's see if it lives up to expectations.
Good night folks! X men origins on TV now. Dont want to miss it.

Ciao

Ai Karamba!!!

I guess nobody apart from Deepak G and Swaroop Rao know the rough literal translation of "Ai Karamba", so the rest of you please think of this is just another exclamation of sorts.

Attended what might probably be the last FYI quiz. The two quizzes held there were very good if one could get over the irritation of going so far... all the way to Indranagar.
The quizzes was more entertaining than informative and would have got a definite "A" or even an "X" rating by the censure board if it was a film. What else will they do if the quiz expects you to know how the braille or 3D version of Playboy looks? And that is only the tip of the iceberg.

Came to the sudden realization yesterday that the moment of truth is just a couple of days away. Still have to do a bit of research about which colleges are good and most importantly what course I should take. Doing nothing seems to take away most of the time nowadays, which is kind of ironic because that is exactly what we should not be doing. It was easy for Frost to choose from 2 roads. He's lucky he never wrote the CET and had so many roads to choose from.

I have still not gotten over the stupid habit of not acting earlier and then regretting later. A million thoughts of "If only I had been more serious..." have been giving me some sleepless nights. Guess I have not earned the right to sleep peacefully. Its amazing how all the supposedly age-old-stuff we mocked a few months earlier seem to be grinning maniacally at us. Our elders are right. There is no substitute to hard work. There is no luck in this world and you never get anything that you don't deserve (Note: all this doesn't apply if you are Siddharth Mallya). I kept thinking, coaxed by many a speech from influential speakers that today's demand is for "smart workers" and not "hard workers". What all of them conveniently failed to say is that average guys like us cannot be smart without our share of hard work. The reason is so absurdly simple ( it strikes me now! Ai Karamba!) for a person to be smart, he needs quite a lot of knowledge which cannot be got by birth. He has to slog, learn and then reap the benefits. Farming in one's own backyard is much more reliable than expecting the farm to come magically in front of you, completely laden with ripe produce, when you need to harvest. The produce appears if and only if there has been some ploughing, some labournig, some seeds, some fertilizers and lots of more hard work.

How can Krishna, in the Bhagavad Gita, ask us not to expect returns on our hard work? Whatever we do in life is in always in expectation of favorable results. Isn't it?
And when there are a series of results that don't go your way, then the only logical interpretation is that there is something wrong with ourselves. Unfortunately this realization is coming very very late.

But then, there is always a new beginning to look forward to. Something that, unfortunately, I will not be able to go to without any regrets. Without any compromises. Without holding my head high.

Ai Karamba! Yes.. it hurts.

The power of tears-- part deux

It has been quite some time since I last put up a post. The negativity in the air is reaching very high proportions which has been a contributing factor in lessening my urge to blog... not to mention tired limbs and lots of nosy interferences. The gossip bugs have gotten their ugly heads out (for once its not about me :D) and long buried dissatisfactions are surfacing. All in all, not a very convenient time to get the creative juices flowing.

What did get some of the ice thawing was a function I attended today. It was a relative's 70 year's shanthi (more specifically Bheemarathi shanthi). All I did understand is that I was going to get some good free meals. As with most people I went to claim my meal today and after going through the initial overdoze of monotonous carrer counselling, I found my self seated amongst my cousins. One of my cousins, a young girl of around 8 was crying incessently. What does the father do about it? Takes out his wallet, stylishly fishes out a 100 rupee note and the crying stops instantly.
If just whining will get me a 100 bucks.. that's half my pocket money by the way, I will be happy whining just once a week. Something like a ceremonial weekly whine.

Is it a healthy sign to keep stuffing your young daughter's hand with cash every time she cries? After a few minutes I realized that the crying was for the cash and nothing else. The rest of us looked at each other in wonder. I was utterly disgusted with the upbringing that girl has had. It is definitely not her fault though. She knows that the reflex to the stimulus of crying is cash in her palm.

I have visibly turned a few shades darker on account of playing in the sun. Seeing my name in the newspaper after a long 3 year wait was a good feeling. Hopefully there'll be an increase in the size of the print in which my name appears. (:P) If anybody has the patience check out TOI, june 5th, last page under KSCA leagues, under brief scores, the last match

Tasted red wine today! It somehow tasted like the sweeter ayurvedic "kashayas" that I'm used to drinking.

Cioa... may you not be bored!

Symbiosis

Symbiosis!! I remember atleast one word from bio! I'm proud of myself.

I was cleaning my room today morning. As is the case in every room cleaning attempt, amidst dirt and dust and screaming parents, there is the chance for every teenager to irritate his/her parents by doing exactly what he was told and nothing more. Today was no different. I started with the fan and came down to earth and promptly ended the show with the traditional sweeping and swabbing. I heaved a very audible sigh of relief. Just when I was about to go downstairs and demand my rightfully earned glass of coffee, my father pointed to the windows with the usual, when-will-you-learn face.

Looking out, I saw loads of spiders with their cobwebs almost covering one of the windows. I thought a lot before removing them. Apparently they did not look good and was looking extremely dirty (I had to agree with them, it did look bad). But everything ugly is not useless. Those cobwebs were protecting me from mosquitoes and flies and many other insects. The few times they did try entering my territory, they were swept back and now the spiders had learnt their lesson, they did not invade my territory and were protecting my room from many insects. I on the other hand was delaying the inevitable by allowing them to prosper on my window sill for as long as possible. It was a perfect symbiotic relationship.

Are aesthetics the only things that matter? Do we never consider the use before we brand anything useless?

Man trying to protect the environment is like a little child playing with its building blocks. It keeps making everything fall and fall again before finally coming out with the right design and then abandoning it. WE are now in the blundering stage where we're concerned with ripping things apart and then realizing that what it was is much better than what we will ever be able to create. What happens by itself is much more exciting than anything we can simulate.

Me trying to suggest that we stop our rip-n-study philosophy is foolish because we have advanced quite a bit in that technique. Trying to work out another techniques will take time and energy.

I miss my dear spider friends now. Them and their awesome designer cobwebs. The cobwebs which would shine like silver in the moonlight (or tubelight :P).

I broke out of this reverie when the cobweb cleaning stick was thrown at me. Then without a second look, I cleaned the cobwebs.

God help me this night!

The Big Question

Course or College? This is probably what half of the second PU students think about every morning right after getting up. This is probably what the rest of them should also be thinking (other than IIT desirous who are sure of getting in).

Until yesterday I was pretty sure that I will choose Course over College, but now I'm not so sure... I will try listing out pros and cons of choosing either College or Course and then conclude something.

Course over College....

This is for people who are already decided on what course they are going to take. It is not for people like me who just want to get Engineering over with and move on. People who are ready to choose course over college are pretty confident and passionate about their choice. Unfortunately I'm not passionately about any such course, nor do I think I will be too. Course over college is either for people who know they are going to get that particular course (read very high marks) or for people who just want to study a particular course to spite their near and dear ones (read antisocial, stubborn).

College over Course....

This choice is mostly by people who are neither here nor there (read average marks, like myself). This is the ideal choice if you want to boast of the college you are in and shut your trap about the course. This is for people who are not passionate or completely decided about the course they want to take up. This is for people who have had no divine intervention or dreams in the middle of the night (something short of getting up and screaming "Eureka").

After a lot of thinking "'ve decided to choose college over course, for any of the following courses.... E&C, CS or IS

What say??

The Dejected Mind

The dejected mind can work wonders! Proof? My 2 page long poem on a certain second PU student with homicidal tendencies towards his Chemistry paper evaluators. The poem is so beautiful and so explicit that its going to be humiliating for the poem to be put up in a blog :P.

Coming back to the point, some of the greatest works of literature have come out when the guy was visible distressed. For further proofs, look at everybody's facebook updates after the results. Some bollywood songs also have beautiful sad sequences, Tanhaiyee from Dil Chahtha Hai being my favourite. It is common knowledge of belief that a drunken high often brings out the poet in the poor drunk soul, but more often than not the soul yearns for a bigger better "high" and completely forgets to cash in on his brain waves. The same probably cannot be said of the dejected soul who mostly wants to get rid of that sick feeling. Fools write about broken love and other senti stuff like that. Why write stuff that everyone's heard a gazillion times? Choose a guy or a group of guys,(or your girlfriend if you are the heartbroken-love poem writing-kind of guy) and give them a hearty earful. Let me tell you... however unrythmic it is, it will still be fun to hear.

I now understand why poets like uninhabited places. It gets them so dejected not having their fag or their bottle of vodka around that they come up with a masterpiece on some teetotaler bloke who had a lousy life as he never drank. The dejected mind also give artists the inspiration they need. A dejected mind, not having the patience required to mix and remix the required colours to get the perfect combination, often makes the artist throw his colour palate against the canvas in a fit of fury thus giving birth to a supposedly sensational piece of art which witless souls (millionaires with lots of money and no work) pay obscene amounts to buy. Till date I have not understood half the paintings that sell for a million dollars or so. Guess it takes one witless soul to understand another.

So, my dear friends... there's nothing to be lost or nothing to be ashamed of if you go into a depression at any time in your life. What matters is that you makew the best of the depression. If you are already depressed, then write a few poems, curse a few people with the bottom of your heart and you will start feeling better immediately.

Ciao

IPL and Lalit Modi's AXE Effect

I'm back. Back to blogging ways. And join me in saying the tagline of Degeneration X to second PU... Thank you.

All the hullabaloo about the IPL was very amusing to watch. Now that the public has got front seats in the mud sling fest between Modi and Tharoor and others, the entertainment quotient of the IPL as a whole has just been upped a little.
So what is the IPL? Can some alleged problems in administration mean anything to the people watching the game? The media is very capricious. It takes them no time to make or unmake anything.

The IPL went from being the "Latest Indian Export", "The new Identity of Indian Cricket" to "The Indian Proxy League", "The Great Indian joke" and other such names. All quotes mentioned above are ones i read in the newspapers. All this the result of some tweets.

IPL is all about the cricket. IPL is about worshiping the Gods of cricket. What goes on off the field should not and thankfully did not diminish the on field exploits of the players. Who cares who got the media rights when you have Dhoni hitting everything out of the park. Who cares about who got sweat equity in the Kochi franchise when you're shouting yourself hoarse cheering your team on. Who cares what Lalit Modi did in his college days when the whole family is glued to the television and the room has a tense atmosphere during the last over in a match.

I cant understand why the media suddenly thinks that the IPL is 90% hype and 10% sport. There will a glam quotient involved, especialy when you're dabbling with hundreds of crores or rupees. A sum which cant even be imagined by the likes of us. Whatever Lalit Modi might or might not have done, he has succeeded in building the most lucrative business empire, the IPL.

I would rather see a Modi with his charisma and enthusiasm leading the IPL rather than a Shashank Manohar with his spotless white, typical political face.

What happened with Shashi Tharoor was very unfortunate. I still feel that the UPA government rushed through the entire "resignation" drama.

Looking forward to the FIFA World Cup. Want Brazil to win it again.

Cheers. Still unable to believe that I'm through with PUC. I have loads of stray papers, question papers, solution sheets, books etc etc etc. There is still that sentimental value attached to them (though many have never been opened more than once). Those books did help give my room the appearance of an IIT-Desirous. Will certainly miss them.
Have loads to clean and novels to catch up on.... FREE AT LAST!!!

Ciao

There and back again... by shreyas

Sorry JRR Tolkien. Who cares though? You're dead :P

Ive named this post for two reasons...

Reason one... IIT is finally over. Classes, my faint, unreasonable hope of somehom making it through, endless debates, convincing parents that you're studying, grimacing painfully at Sonar's jokes, trying to disguise fitful giggles when Prashanth was getting screwed by AVS, pushing people around in the corridor, listening to HSS's life experiences, shouting in Kavitha's class etc, etc etc..

But its all for the better, everything other than the above mentioned instances were horrible... especially when your IIT test marks were sent to your parents through sms.
Let bygones be bygones i say. Open that coke bottle (no champagne as probably nobody's old enough to drink) and lets toast to two years spent wasted and slogging. Two years of hearing endless debating whether methanamine is a stronger base than ammonia and other such topics.
Two years of getting up early and running to the bus stop with the choicest of swear words on the lips for being late.
Two years of total surrender to the whims and fancies and utter brutality of the question paper setters.
Two years of enduring sadistic smiles from the teachers while discussing the answers after the tests.
Two years wherein our own parents doubted us and started praying to God to bless us with heavy asses so that we don't get up from the study table.
Two years of having to put up that fake smile with people like Madhukesh when he's petting you like a mongrel when all you want to do is give him the ol' one two on his stupid face.

The second justification for the title is cricket. Yes! I made my return to cricket. This time as a coach. Assistant coach is probably the better choice of words. But it still has "coach" in it so I'm happy. Coaching two dozen tail-less monkeys is very tiring work. Even more so when you don't have that authoritative voice with choice swear words coming to your lips from time to time. But just being back on the cricket field is a great feeling. The playing part will have to wait till the exams are over though.

There are still two more battles to fight. AIEEE and CET yet to come. And if anybody here is crazy enough to try and find out the answers and demoralize yourselves before the other two exams, be my guest and click on jee.learnhub.com/

Ciao.. May you achieve your ambitions however ridiculous they seem.
Cheers

All things bright and beautiful

GOOD BYE MUGGING... I HATED YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND HOPEFULLY NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN

Its amazing how nice the weather gets, how you have a spring in your step, how a trodden down flower seems to have that little bit of fragrance left and every morsel of bhel puri in JPS tastes that much more tastier after the exams. Liberty, freedom and one day nearer to enfranchisement.

The story of all the exams so far have been the same. Waste all holidays prior to each exam, frantic studying a few hours before, leap of faith in shutting the books and calling to the Gods to save you, a jhakaas paper, completely idiotic invigilators irritating procedures and an even more irritating neighbors and the usual sinking feeling when you're putting up a fake smile when everyone about you is discussing the answers. That just about sums its up. I will enjoy studying for IIT and AIEEE though. They are just a game of Russian Roulette without a bet. Jackpot if I hit it, no hard feelings if I don't.

Waking up early is getting harder and harder with every passing day. That cajoling voice inside your head which suddenly wakes up when you're doing something you shouldn't be is making that extra effort to make me go back to sleep.

Oh and finally, a blog isn't a work of literature or any double and triple edited newspaper item. Its just an output for all the random, insane thoughts that keep popping in there, more so when there is an exam the next day.

Have fun for a day people and get back to studying. The big mama of all exams coming up. Pray for good luck if you're playing roulette like me. Slog your ass off if you think you've got a decent chance coz you might just make it.

Cheers

Growth rate, dal roti and criminals

Define a politician.... Ans, A person who is good at everything other than what he is supposed to be good at.
Define a wannabe politician... Ans, Someone who's great at what he does, but wants to suck at it by joining politics.

And that's exactly what Baba Ramdev (The semi naked baba who teaches yoga and is a regular bane to people with grandparents, especially when there's an awesome movie going on) is planning to do. Bored with teaching the same old stuff, the great baba is planning to flaunt his own political party. "Stick to your yoga" is what I wanted to tell him when I was reading this article in the Times when I noticed one of his dialogue. He said "Manmohan Singh is a great economist and understands the economics growth rate very well, but he does not understand the economics of dal roti."

I scoffed at this statement just like you might be doing now, but there is some truth to it. An increased growth rate is good for a nation, but the nation mostly consists of people who don't give a rat's fart for the growth rate. They want dal roti for their daily lives, and reduced prices in their daily essentials. What use is an increased growth rate when there is inflation. An Economist might disagree with me saying that Growth rate and Inflation are different things, but the reality is that the people of the country are not economists. All i need is for the price of my vegetables to go down, bugger the growth rate.

Nevertheless, Baba Ramdev, never in a hundred years will you get my vote. I would rather put my trust on Manmohan Singh and his Harvard degree and would sooner have him lead the nation.

Political sense seems to have been flushed down the loo in the Deve Gowda household, with both father and son trying to outdo each other for the place of "The most ridiculed" title in Karnataka politics. The constitution says that criminals who have been sentenced cannot stand for elections while it gives the green signal for people who have been acquitted.
Its easy for us to say that people who have been charged with an offence also be denied the chance but it is very unrealistic. All someone has to do then to prevent a candidate from taking part in the elections is frame him in some dacoity or murder ( I guess I've been watching too much kannada soap, and I know doing that is difficult, but its still not impossible) There is nothing that can be done by the judiciary in this regard. All lies in the voters' hands. Vote for the right person if you have a vote.

Campaigning for the BBMP elections is getting more annoying daily. Y?esterday was the height when there were two autos, one from Congress and the other from BJP, trying to outshout each other on the mike. the result was a nasty case of noise pollution and nothing more. If everybody who moves about with those candidates makes sure that their families vote for him then the candidate is going to win with ease. Unfortunately, most people campaign for money and nothing more.

Anyway, coming back to second PU exams, half our fates are decided already. The other half will be decided on April 28 and 29. All the best folks. But remember, a wise man once said "Marks dont maketh a man, it only makes proud parents and nosy relatives"

P.S. the wise man is me :P

Kannada Cinema

Is it only me, or does everyone get a grimace on their face after listening to or reading about kannada cinema? I am talking about today's cinema and not of the yester years. We all know and like to believe that the movies of yester years were amazing.

I will not go on about how kannada, on a broader spectrum, regional cinema sucks, but try to find out why these people are not able to get over rowdies and girls acting like "You Know What"s. (Starts with 's' and ends with 't' and no marks for guessing what it is)

1) Most film-makers are supposedly under the impression that people like to see other people being chopped up and surreal action scenes which end up looking idiotic. People, the days of Jogi are long gone. Nowadays, even techies, who used to keep yapping in english even when the whole group consisted of kannadigas are starting to talk kannada, and if I may add so, with a certain degree of pride. The kannada cinema audience no longer consists of wannabe rowdies and the so-called 'porki's who come into our mind whenever we think of a theatre showcasing a kannada movie.

And lets face it, however hard you try, you film-makers will never be able to mimick a Mission Impossible or a Terminator. Anyone who has seen those movies will surely walk out, or fall asleep during one of your action scenes.

2) To all script writers and directors. A heroine DOES NOT MEAN and arm candy. There are so many more sensitive roles that only a woman can play. And when I talk of an actress, I dont mean that girl whom you saw walking on the road and the next day she becomes a heroine. Qualifications for being an actress should just not be a pretty face and the ability to dance seductively. There is so much more to acting.

3) Especially to some new kannada hero called Akshay Kumar... I was watching one of those film review shows and this dude's movie had just been released. He humbly requested all the people to go watch the movie because IT HAD LOTS OF GREAT DANCE STEPS AND GOOD ACTION SCENES. NOT AN EFFIN WORD ABOUT THE STORY OR THE PLOT OR THE ACTING. Who wants to go spend, rather waste a whole afternoon watching dance and fights? Has the movie been reduced to just dance and fights and songs?

4) Songs... There have been some amazing songs in the post Mungaru Male times. But lets be realistic. If I am watching a movie, I certainly will laugh at some rowdy hero singing about love in complex lyrics. Please have songs which relate to the film in some way.

5) Casting... The casting sucks. Because none of the heroes knows anything other than kicking butt and none of the heroines knows anything other than dancing with skimpy clothes. We have heroines like Ramya who cant even deliver a dialogue and needs a voice-over for her films. Doesn't that kind of defeat the entire purpose of her acting? Isn't acting maimly about dialogue delivery among other things?

The Hindi cinema is coming of age now. They have finalyy figured out what people like to see and are doing a good job. There is atleast one radical, very different movie every year. Lets just hope that the Kannada cinema gets over Annavru and the golden olden days and comes down to earth. Rajkumar was a good actor, I agree, but his romance movies no longer work. Think out of the box and give us more to see and digest.

Simple Pleasures

I recently read an article in the TOI regarding the very easily available sexually explicit material for youngsters and the "pornification of society" (I'm not making this up, those were the very words used). Reading about how pre-teens are using, rather, abusing the internet made me wonder about my school days and my life as a pre-teen. Forget the internet, I never had time enough to play outside.

My early life was a truly spectacular one considering the positive impact it has had on me as a person. Those were days when a simple one rupee lollipop could keep me engrossed and smiling the whole day. Growing up was even more fun with so many interesting things to build and destroy using toy bricks. I was made to eat healthy home-food on days when I was hell bent on eating outside thus making a rare visit to a hotel a truly satisfying experience. A 5 rupee MTR softee would make a day and time spent playing in the park, an amazing time. A few years down the road, cricket entered my life and representing my club was a matter of great pride. A half century lifted one to the status of a demi-God and a century took one all the way up Mount Olympus, onto the lap of Zeus Himself.

School was an entirely different story, but almost same in essence. There were friendships, fights, competitions, speeches, and first time experiences with crushes, that was the limit of sexuality.

The other day I was talking to a teacher of mine who taught us in school. She now teaches in Brigade School, clearly the school for the creamy layer. I was shocked to find that their lunchboxes contained spaghetti(still don't know what that is, but definite that it can never beat good old masala dosa) and pizza and their summer vacations were trips to Europe and other such countries. Their pocket money was in thousands and none of their mobile phones a cent below 20k. I seriously believe that we have to pity such children.
What excitement will they have in their lives? We all have certain goals in our life and all the goals aim at bettering our positions in life, monetarily, aesthetically and philosophically. When you already have the best of everything, what further improvement can happen in your life. The journey of life ought to start with nothing and end with everything. It is the journey that counts and perhaps not the end result. It is the journey that is exhilarating. It is the journey that moulds your character. But what journey can you make if you already have the end result? that too without even realizing its worth?

Most of today's problems with the youth taking up vices like smoking and drugs is an offshoot of the lack of a firm grounding and moral values that ought to be taught at home. If I am given a 100 rupee note, when all I needed was a hug of comfort from my parents, I would also end up like that. The misguided sense of love by many parents in willingly encouraging their children in their misbehaviors is truly tearing the delicate social fabric apart. A sense of superiority which is instilled in the minds of young children from a young age will definitely see them becoming arrogant later in life.
Extra money in hands of young children will obviously result in them misusing it, especially with the internet at everybody's fingertips. What is the need for a child of 10 to sit at home and surf the internet when he can be playing outside. Why should a child of 10 worry about looks and comfort when he/she ought to be rolling about in the mud having the time of their lives getting dirty. When will they ever know of the fun in falling and getting hurt and wearing the scar proudly for a long time? When can completing a scenario in Warcraft ever substitute jumping on muddy puddles after rain and later getting yelled at by parents? When can they truly experience the fun there is to be had in drinking tap water if they have been drinking mineral water all their lives?

Pray for the days of old to come back. Pray for days when children do not need PSP s to take the place of good old Cadbury Eclairs. Pray for the days of Simple Pleasures

Soap songs and morons

The title rhymes!!! I'm a poet and I did not know it!! :P (that rhymes as well!!)

We all know that Bungee jumping gives us a high. But bungee jumping without the bungee gets you so high that it takes you straight to heaven. Proof? the people who jumped from the top floors of Carlton Towers. Murphy's Law: "If anything can go wrong, it will. If anything can prevent it from going wrong, it wont work".
Let us understand the relevance of this great statement and have a moment's silence for all the people who tried to bungee jump from the top of Carlton Towers without a safety harness.

What do you do when you are stuck at home with no TV, nothing interesting on the computer, the same old food to eat and infinite repulsion to anything that vaguely resembles a textbook? You make a list of all things that make no sense in the world and write it in your blog.

Soap Songs...... Probably the most irritating songs in existence (i.e. not considering the songs sung by the great Himesh Reshammiya... hope the spelling is right. If not who cares? ). If ever there was a set of songs guaranteed to make you mad enough to try challenging the might of a brick wall with the hardness of your skull, it is these songs. What pray is the big idea behind torturing co-watchers by playing an irritating tune to taunt an irritated mind? The songs by themselves have no meaning. They are mostly used as alarms to alert the weak ears of old people and coax them into increasing the volume.

Pramod Muthalik... Another person who is off his rockers. He should be kept under observation in NIMHANS and should be used as an example in lectures on megalomania and fanaticism. Mr.Muthalik, Please read the Ramayana. You act like a babboon besmeared with bubotuber pus(for more on bubotuber read harry potter. LOL another rhyme!). Looking at you in the news irritates me more than a particularly nasty itch in a particularly nasty part of my anatomy.

America's Got Talent... 4 people sitting on a table and millions of moronic Americans looking to sing in front of them. This show also irritates me. The reason I even watch the show is that it comes after "Friends" and before "Baywatch". :P

Vodafone's Missed calls... Almost as irritating as soap songs.

Switching between soaps and cricket match and finally ending up watching neither... Usually happens during a cricket match is on and the remote is in the hands of your soap-addicted grandpa. IT SUCKS.

Kannada movies... Not even worth mentioning but one of the things that does irritate me. Why script writers and producers can't see past filthy rich chicks falling for filthy looking heroes, action scenes that are even more moronic beats me. WAke up People!!

Sania... Whatshername??? oh! right! Mirza... It woudnt be surprising if you see her travelling on a local bus the next time you visit Hyderabad. She's finished.

BJP... Almost as finished as Sania Mirza. Atleast in Karnataka if they continue to have idiots like V.S.Acharya in the cabinet.

My IIT aspirations... gone, vanished, finished, non-existant.

Anyway, Mad MARCH coming up. I am in desperate need for some interest in studies. And horrible second prep marks didn't help either. All the Best. May the Gods favor you.

Awkwardness

I had been to a function today. It was one of those aftermath events of the wedding. The groom's side hosted the girl's side a luncheon and I was invariably dragged along.
The wedding was of a supposed near cousin. The only glitch is that I never knew that such a cousin existed a couple of years back. I did not go to the wedding citing obvious reasons like exam and stuff, but today my aunt, the groom's mother insisted that I come and there I was.

The reason we had gone there was to have BK. "BK" is a acronym for Bitti Koolu which literally translates to Free Meals in Kannada. So we went there about an hour before lunch, the time which is socially accepted. Late enough to go willfully drag yourself to get ready and early enough not to appear rude and blatantly show to the world that you went there just for BK. I really don't know what purpose it serves because everyone present there knows that you have come for exactly that, though nobody says it aloud.

Moreover it was only for "immediate relatives", the so called "first circle", and I knew absolutely nobody there. I go there and I hear loud voices and laughter from inside. That was the first dampner on what little enthusiasm I had. Its bad enough introducing yourself in a company that comprises of people about 10 years elder, its even worse when they are enjoying themselves and may see you as a possible spoil-sport. I step inside and everybody starts staring at me. Though the stare lasted only for a moment, it feels like eternity by the time they take their eyes off you and return to their chatter. Let me mention here that the newlyweds and all other family members are extremely good people. But however good or accommodating they are, it is impossible not to feel that sense of alienism, that sense of unbelonging. It might not be there the next time I go there, but the first time it was blatant.

I got myself a seat in as obscure a place possible in a perfect rectangular hall with almost no walls to hide behind. And after answering the usual questions like which class and college, I settled down with a newspaper, acutely conscious of every movement in the room. I would have had so much to offer in that conversation if it was in group I was familiar with.
And after that it was all wait for the food, hog and then rush back home.

Unfortunately the food arrived late and the guests even later. We were the only fools who had gone there so early especially for BK and did not have brains enough to come fashionably late like so many others.

It is always in such circumstances that one realizes the true worth of time. IT seems like such a waste reading about bloody Bt Brinjal while waiting for food in an unknown place with all unknown faces around you. I spent about 2 hrs there and was almost fuming by the time I actually got home. If I was at home, I would have probably wasted that time anyway, but when time is wasted and it is not our doing, I bet everyone gets wild.

And what did I do after coming home? Kept switching between the cricket match and Lagaan (Amazing movie by the way :P ). AVS ans HSN would have committed suicide if they realized that an IIT Desirous, 2nd PU student had been to a function just 24 days before the board exams and wasted 2 hrs. To hell with them.

P.S. I dont get the lozic behind the bride's side having to pay for the expenses of the marriage. It ought to be shared equally. The very gesture probably shows the concern that the groom and his family have and will show for the daughter-in-law of the house. But who am I to question 2 millenniums (or millenia???) of chauvinistic tradition.

Good night

Have my physics practicals tomorrow. May the Gods be merciful and give me Ohm's law.

Baar Baar Barber

I had a haircut today, hence this post. I'm really not able to resist logging onto the net so i might as well write something.

My visits to the barber, ever since I was 6 years old has been a monthly affair. Get up early, go to the barber's shop, tell him just one word "Short" and wait and watch till he hacks off that thick bush on top of your head and then get up and go home. Never, I repeat never have I ever had more than a one word conversation with any barber, until today. And so far my visits to the barber have been hassle free.

Visiting a barber is similar to living in Afghanistan. You have no freedom and you are completely at their mercy. If they screw up your hair, then there's no fixing it back.

Even today I went a bit late, so there were already some people there. The usual banter in Tamil was going on. As always there was today's edition of Bangalore Mirror. I don't know whether it is a coincidence or not, but whenever I see someone reading that paper, its always in THAT PARTICULAR PAGE. No points for guessing which page. Anyway, today an old man of around 50 years was reading it. I wondered what use it could be to him. As always I picked up a copy of filmfare magazine. Interestingly, irrespective of all the newspapers and magazines, it is Filmfare which is most read. (For proof, just look at its condition the next time you go to a barber)
It is completely irritating how all the old guys turn their heads towards you and give you that rueful headshake. Completely pissing off. The other dude was reading "Ask the Sexpert" for Ol' Pete's sake and nobody even raises an eyebrow. Many even kept glancing into what I was reading from time to time. The same ones who gave the rueful headshake and the "See what the world is coming to" looks to each other.

Anyway, after all this tamasha, I finally got to go sit on the chair. I was getting comfortable in the seat when the guy who was supposed to give me a haircut wanted to attend nature's call. The idiot did not return for quite a long time. I usually spend time like that making irritated faces, and when I get bored of that trying out with different looks and gazes at the mirror. Afterall that's right in front of you. What I did forget was that the whole bloody room is full of mirrors and any monkey-like action I do is visible to everybody. So finally stopped acting the goof.

At last the guy came back. I got was about to fall into the familiar stupor and submit myself to his will, become a puppet in his hands when he gave me a look. I replied "Short". HE continued to give me the look and then he asked me "Slope or rounded" I had never heard both words related to haircut before. He took 2 minutes explaining what they were and I finally settled on slope. He tried to ask me few more questions but then realized its futility and started with the familiar hacking and snipping.

I am sure all of you will agree that the waiting part is quite boring. For the first time, I actually remembered how I spent that time.

1) First tried to give that dignified image. Closed eyes, the serious thinking expression. Realized nobody cared.
2) After the initial putting of water and combing was done and the first bit of hair fell down, I tried to open my eyes and started to guess where he would cut hair next. That also got quite boring after some time.
3) It is most fun when half your hair is cut. The barber keeps combing and recombing it to cut somewhere else, and you end up with some amazing hairstyles, although only temporarily. The best thing to do now is try giving different poses to best suit the hairstyle.
4) I still have not gotten over the dreadful feeling of how short the hair actually gets when he's done with the cut. One moment, it's all glamorous and stylish and the next moment its just plain old normal you with a typical scrawny look and very less hair on your head.

Happens to everybody I suppose. But my head does feel a lot lighter after the cut.

Need not trouble myself for another month atleast.

Does it happen with anybody else or is it only me who fears getting his hair cut after studying something. I have this absolutely insane notion that whatever we read gets stored in the hair. You lose the hair, you lose what you have studied. :P Stupid I know but its always nice to have those small superstitions to yourself.

Bye.

Dichotomy of Fate...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I have started with this beautiful poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost( Of "After Apple Picking" fame in the Whispers of Immortality). This is truly a beautiful poem, a rare diamond among the countless riches made during the Romantic era.

What actually influenced me the most in this poem is that the dilemma faced by the the author then is being faced by all of us now. Which way to turn? Infact, the author had a comparatively easy choice compared to all of us. He had only 2 roads to choose from. We have quite a lot.

I am the kind of person who believes that fate is non-consequential and just an excuse for either being pig-headed or being unable to do something. How much ever one may try not to link everyday happenings to fate, in a country like India it is not possible to disdain the influence of fate. It is every person's favourite escape route. Put on a grin or a smirk or scowl, run your index finger across your forehead and say "It is my fate". Though it is irritating from my perspective while writing this, some of us invariably tend to forget what we were supposed to be thinking and repeat the age old practice of pinger-across-forehead. That is mainly because of almost 2 decades of brainwashing that we have been continuously exposed to ever since we first entered this world.

Fate is inseparably linked with luck. Luck IS NOT fate. So what is this fate? Is my fate decided already or do I have any say in it? These questions probably cannot be answered.
Fate supposedly means your future. Your gains and losses in life, supposedly pre-determined by some 4 headed God sitting on a lotus. For someone who has a lot of writing to do, due to the increasing population, its amazing how He also has time to meditate and stuff.

The point I am trying to make here is that it doesn't matter what is written in your life. Its is nonsense if you lose some money on a bet and someone says "Its your fate". All it is just bad judging. If done properly, irrespective of whichever rashi is in whichever house, irrespective of what that God wrote, you will win. Fate is an excuse for failure. It is NOT something that one should try to understand, even less think about in life.
Suppose by some freak accident you are able to read your supposedly existing fate, then what fun is your life? It is always the prospect of a better tomorrow that drives humanity. It is the journey that is exhilarating, not the destination.

Coming back to ourselves. We now face a lot of roads. All with their own share of ups and downs. One thing is sure though. The road that slopes upwards, though difficult to climb, will certainly give a better view of the world in the end. The road that slopes downwards, though easy to travel, will never help you grow.
The fact that makes this decision very tough is that all roads are one way traffic. You can go, but cannot turn back. Each has its share of thorns and stubble, roses and ferns, dangers and adventures. Pick your best path and follow it with full earnestness and the latter part of the road will be easy travel.

What is it then that prevents us from taking up the path less taken? FEAR. the four letter word eats up many lives. Fear is the best mate of fate. Fear of tomorrow reduces one's productivity dramatically. It does take a lot of guts to do what one actually wants to do in life. Everywhere around us, we have people who induce fear. Nobody, absolutely nobody pats you on the back for thinking up an alternative solution for a problem. India is stuck in the quagmire of conservativeness. Anything swaying even a little from the average/normal becomes a source of fear. Being a quagmire, it easily extinguishes any bright spark that attempts to actually show the way out. People are happy enough sinking more, rather than accept the fact that there was actually a solution they could not think of.

Let more bright sparks shed light in this quagmire. Think about fate. Think about what it is and how your fate really doesn't matter in life.

Ciao.

The Almighty Fight for the Remote

"3 things to make sure you have a happy family...
1) Have separate bathrooms
2) Have separate bank accounts
3) have separate TV s.

If you don't have a TV or if you don't have soap-addicted grandparents then you are one lucky person. Though you might not have any interference while watching your TV, you sure as hell missed out on all the fun there is to be had fighting for the control of the one thing which even determines the lifestyle of the people in the house... THE REMOTE.

Usually, in every house there is that one particular place where everyone wants to sit to watch TV. That place is usually always next to the remote. The wars fought to gain control of that place are infact more fierce than any war ever fought.

If you think seeing such wars are awesome, then taking part in them is even better! Though if you are the youngest person and you are waging your war against your much older and supposedly wiser grandparents then you are sure to lose most of the time, but the fun lies in not giving up and savoring the few moments where you actually manage to hoodwink them.

There is no fun in shouting and arguing. Its the silent wars that are more fun. I mean didn't the Cold War have more of a lasting impact than the actual World wars?

Some Tips from a battle hardened war veteran.. myself :)

1) Don't ever ever ever ever look at your grandparents when you have the remote in your hands. You will be forced to surrender it in order to remain respectful. Simply pretend that they do not exist.

2) Always make sure you have visited the bathroom/lavatory etc before you make your move to gain control of the remote. Enjoy your moments there... they might be few and precious and its really irritating having a bursting bladder disturb that sense of superiority.

3) Carry the remote wherever you go... i.e. if you are seized by the sudden urge to munch on some really tasty ambode (Its an amazing dish... seriously... ask your grandparents about it when there is a break in your tv show and you are holding the remote. Such questions do irritate them :P )then be careful to actually carry the remote... but dont forget to exclaim and say how foolish you are for carrying it into the kitchen and give them an all knowing smile :).

4) Plan your move at such a time when you are sure you wont be besieged by visitors. They are your enemies and not your allies... Even your friends, who stop by for a chat!!! i.e. there is not point in seizing the remote when it is near lunch or dinner time, or early mornings or late evenings.

5) DO NOT EXPECT YOUR PARENTS TO BACK YOU... they will always back your grandparents. All you will get from them is useless sympathy

6) Always engage them in conversations when there are advertisements on TV and turn your attention back to the TV as soon as your program returns. This shows your superiority and helps you savor your moments with the remote.

7) Do it sparingly... to much and you will incur everybody's wrath at home for being selfish. You will have more fun this way.

8) God help you if you have siblings... especially younger ones. I know nobody ever let you watch cartoons when you were young and now you will have to sacrifice an awesome EPL match to watch bloody Cartoon Network.

Follow all these steps and you will be successful in the BATTLE for the REMOTE...

May your wits stay with you and may you always remember that the place between your ears is not empty..

Sayonara

P.S. This article might appear to be written by someone who does not respect his elders. As much as i do respect them, ITS MY HOUSE TOO FOR Ol' PETE's SAKE...

A Treatise on Trust

Since I have had an emotionally draining day and have no mood to study, I though I will do an introspection on TRUST. All the things written are my own thoughts, at the moment, from a frayed mind. They maybe strikingly accurate or woefully wrong. Correct me if I am wrong.

Trust by nature is very fickle. It cannot be relied upon, for the simple reason that every person's idea of trust varies. What I may consider an act of trust someone else may an act of selfishness. Acts that would otherwise have bridged gaps and strengthened trust can just as quickly be the undoing of a relationship.

A person can be thought of as a garden with a lot of beautiful flowers, thorns and touch-me-not plants, and a small lawn. The lawn is a person's comfort zone. It is nice to sit on and very co-operative and smiling during a conversation. Anything that you want to know about the person is here for all to see. This is the part a person likes to portray. Usually a very sunny picture with beautiful flowers at the edges. Flowers to only look pretty.

The flower garden is where you go once you are pretty close to that person. We get to go into the flower gardens of very few people in our lives, invariably because they are very well guarded. It is in this flower garden that you know the real character of a person. Whether his plants are rotten or whether there is a beautiful lotus in the murky pond. Trusting a person is going into this flower garden with the full knowledge of the owner and being able to pluck flowers without causing the person any pain. Most people flinch when their flowers are plucked because a plucking causes the same amount of pain, whether it is torn by a band of marauding Mongols or picked up by a beautiful young maiden to give to her loved one. The first plucking is probably the most important in terms of establishing trust.

Even when the first plucking is done, it does not guarantee easy access to everything in the garden. There are fickle things like the touch-me-not plants. They cringe at the slightest touch and invariably stay cringed until you vacate the premises. These are the sensitive parts of the person's mind that will not suffer your touch, however pleasurable or coaxing it is. It is actually the amount of touch-me-not s present in the garden that determines whether a person is an extrovert or an introvert. Try too much touching, or walk like an oaf and you're out of the garden before you know it. It is a very painful and difficult procedure to get back to the garden. Even if you make it back there, you will find most of it barred.

Tread very carefully where the touch-me-not s lie. They may be hidden to the eye or in plain sight. A person who willfully touches them and enjoys seeing them cringe is a friend to none. A person who touches one by mistake, causes cringing but can be forgiven. A humble request to all readers. Please differentiate between those that have touched your touch-me-not s willfully and those that have done so by mistake. Every touch hurts, but some you can bear. Pushing every person who touches them out of your garden will only make sure you have no more visitors.

Think how all of you act in others' gardens and then think of how they are treating you, whether you deserve it or not.

Gods be with you.

3 lessons learnt, by no means Idiotic

The first time was very exciting...

The second time was pretty enjoyable...

Third time was more of an obligation....

The fourth time, I did it to get rid of boredom...

I am just talking about the 4 times I saw the movie "3 Idiots" in as many days and nothing else.

The movie is AMAZING. possibly the best movie of last year. Great performances by everybody. I loved Boman Irani's act. The one person who stole the show was Omi, playing Chatur's part. He deserves an award for that performance.

Anyway, the reason I watched the movie 4 times is simply to waste time. Exam times tend to bring out the worst in people (Hopefully before it brings out the best in them). And so it I feel it is better to get the worst in you over pretty fast, i.e. if you feel the urge to watch TV, then watch enough TV so that you get disgusted the next time you see it. Unfortunately, I have been trying it for 4 days and it hasn't worked yet.

The movie is something everybody can connect to. It is simple, down to earth, somewhat filmy towards the end, but comes with many great messages. I'll try to outline some of them...

1) Follow your passions and work where your talent lies:- A straight enough message. DO things which you are good at. But I have one doubt... How will you know what you are good at? In out limited curriculum and big fat IIT books, you are either good at everything or good at nothing. The latter is my case. Chuck that... how will you know you have actually come across the thing that you are good at or the thing you love doing? Someone please tell me if you have felt complete happiness or satisfaction in something you have done because I have not. And I don't know whether not loving that one special thing is any cause for concern.

2)Understanding is more important than the definition:- Agreed. Very true. This is what every teacher in school used to tell us before they used to wring our necks and box our ears for not learning the definition by heart. So easy to preach yet so difficult to implement. Not that it is our fault. Ever since the vedic ages, we Indians have been made to rote learn everything. I am sure Lord Brahma made the Rishis who performed penance for Brahmavidya learn it all by heart.

3) This is possibly the most apt message. Learn to live life today, not think of yesterday or dream of tomorrow:- The first time I saw the movie, Chatur's Teacher's Day speech was my favourite part. Now, having watched it three more times (and after having memorized chatur's speech :P) I think the best part of the movie is Raju's Interview scene. He frankly tells the interviewers how he used to act and how he was always scared of tomorrow. In his case it was the fear of failure, in a majority of others, it is the dream of making it big and possibly being famous. The kind of thing that can ruin all your plans. I spent this whole week dreaming and watching movies, and doing a sum or two here and there and now I realized what a fool I had been the whole week. Even then, I will think of this week as one weel spent as I realized what a blunder I was doing. If somebody has been doing the same things as me, then please make a resolution that you will work hard from now atleast (and let that resolution stay for a little while).

Enjoy what you are doing... May your swords stay sharp...

Ciao

P.S. Don't forget to see the moon today. It is supposed to be the brightest and biggest view of the moon you will get this year

P.P.S. I can see some very badly framed sentences here... Im too bored to correct all of them. Guess it is understandable :)

How to Love!!! Lessons in dating by NBS

(For IIT Desirous... NBS is NOT n-bromosuccinamide)

NBS stands for His Holiness Sri Sri Narendra Babu Sharma, who incidentally hosts my favourite comedy show. This peerless seer was today talking about the Kali Yuga and the apparent evil influence of Rahu.

It seems that Rahu is responsible for causing change. Change, according to him means inter-caste marriages. In his own words "From 2012 onwards, love marriages will become very frequent. Rahu is gaining power now and it is his influence."

I say "BULLSHIT". It is not Rahu's influence. Its the influence of almost a decade of Shah Rukh Khan's intolerable weeping and All's well that end's well love stories. Even if Rahu's grandfather gained power, love marriages would still be on the rise.

He swears that people whose horoscopes match are the only ones who live happily. What of the westerners? Arent there any couples who were married without their horoscopes matching? I can quote examples from our own epics and puranas.

1) Lets start with the man who was considered the epitome of goodness... Lord Rama. He married his wife in a Swayamwara. I don't think a man's entry to a Swayamwara required his horoscope to match with the bride's.

2) Everybody knows the story how Shiva married his wife Parvathi. Parvathi performed devout and severe penance to please him. YOu dont hear him saying "Hey, I'd love to but do our horoscope's match?"

3) Nala and Damayanti, the stuff of epic love stories. They did not check first if their horoscopes matched or not.

4) Dushyantha and Shakunthala... Dushyantha met Shakunthala while roaming in the forest and got betrothed to her. I am sure he did not carry his horoscope in his underpants to first check whether they matched.

What I mean to say is that horoscopes dont actually matter. What matters is whether the two people getting married are ready to believe in and work on their marriage. Getting a Gay man and a straight female married because their horoscopes match will not in any way improve their marriage.

Coming to NBS's statement... he expects to people to carry their horoscopes with them and whenever someone has a crush on another, first check whether your horoscopes match and then proceed.

GOD HELP THAT LUNATIC..
AMEN

Astrology

This was the conversation in my house yesterday... I will retain the technical terms, please bear with it.

Dad( To grandpa): When can I buy the vehicle?
Grandpa: Hmmmm (takes out panchanga) lets see... monday is pretty good
Dad: But the vehicle will come to the showroom only by monday evening.
G: Oh, ok. Tuesday is ruled out. Wednesday.... hmmm it might not suit you. What about thursday?
D: But I am busy on thursday.
G: In that case why not the next day?
Me: (getting irritated, In a mocking voice) Oh, but isnt it a friday? The engine might rust and the wheel might refuse to turn.
(Get shouted at by everybody else in the house)(After regaining composure..)
G: All days are ok... other than tuesday you take it whenever you want.

Me (To myself): WTF... That's what I have been saying for days!!

Another dialogue that many of us would have heard before in our lives, one of my favourite ones by the way, "Don't talk about things you don't understand".

What is this whole big deal with astrology anyway? I really dont see any sense in people dedicating their entire lives to astrology. Agreed, it is a science, people were able to predict the exact time of the sunrise today a thousand years back. But that is math and math has no time frame. I am talking about the prediction part. That is so not scientific.

I happen to listen to a lot of these astrology shows and there is one show i absolutely love. It comes in "Suvarna", a kannada channel in the morning conducted by one Mr. Narendra Babu Sharma. These are some of the things he asks people to do, some one please tell me the logic behind any of this...

1) Girls should not wear anything that even closely resembles a pant because it will not allow free passage of air and that is Rahu's strength and he will surely damage your chances of getting offspring later on.

2) What to do if you think someone has put a curse on you (its something similar to voodoo dolls) First take a lemon. IT should be the exact size of the inside of a coconut. Then you piss into a glass in the morning and keep it in the north east corner of your house. After performing pooja with a lot of devotion, you pray to the lemon and drop it into your piss and keep it there for 2 days. It is very important that you do not look into the glass of your piss. After 2 days if the lemon has turned read then someone has put a curse on you, if it only stinks then you are safe.

I will not go on about what to do if you are cursed...

Dude WTF!! You are not only talking to your generation. You words also fall into the ears of GenX. If you tell me not to wear jeans because the sun wont like it or Shani is behind Ketu who is the sister's son of the moon who is in my rashi right now, all I will do is get you on an auto to NIMHANS. All the sun can do if i am wearing jeans is make it hot so i sweat and... well lets just leave it there...

Coming back to my favourite sentence "Don't speak about things you don't understand". I agree that I don't know anything. I am just 18 years old. I might not have studied all the vedas and sacred texts, but God has granted me enough brains to understand what is taught to me. I ask you people to make us understand. If you can truly show me that it is bad for me to wear jeans because the sun wont like it or shani is behind rahu blah blah blah, I will follow it. If not then I wont until I am convinced otherwise.

The problem with most people who say that is they have never asked their fathers why all these customs are followed.
I shall now narrate a story to prove my point. "Once upon a time a boy in the family got married. The wife came into the kitchen the next morning and saw her mother-in-law cooking fish. She was surprised to see the MIL cut off the head and the tail and keep them next to the body and then cook it. She asked her MIL why she was doing it. The MIL said that that was the tradition in this shouse and fish has been cooked like this for ages and that is the reason for their good health. The wife was not convinced and asked her again. The MIL again hid behind the wall of tradition and asked her to approach the boy's grandmother who taught her to cook that way. On hearing the story, the old woman just chuckled and said "My daughter, when I ran the house, the vessel I used could not contain the whole fish, so to fit the fish into the vessel I would cut the head and the tail and keep them next to body."

So much for tradition. What if some of the things we do on the pretext of following our tradition actually had some such reason behind it and how foolish would all of us feel if we actually got to know such a dumb reason?

Think about it...

The Fear of Tears...

Long ago a great man said "To behold a woman's cry makes you sad, a man crying just wants to make you kick his ass once more."

So what is it about men and crying that makes people want to spit on them? Why should a woman then be allowed to cry? Crying, my dear friends is not a characteristic of a particular gender, 'tis the heart that weepeth not the man.

There are two ways of looking at and understanding the title...
1) You fear crying, i.e. making a supposed fool of yourself in public.
2) Being scared of people who cry.

I will try to discuss both scenarios...

FEAR OF CRYING...

I am sure that every man feels this fear. Every man is ashamed to admit that he cries. It might be after a hard fall in P.E. class in 5th standard or a particularly unpleasant event in your peer group. Crying is just a form of expressing one's emotions.
The Raj Kapoor era started it all... That was the era in which women enjoyed watching men cry for a change. Curse him... and suddenly crying was fashion. Dudes who could never hope to get the girl in the usual "Majnu Laila" ishtyle resorted to crying. How many fake cry-babies have we not seen in our lives? Such people apparently have no shame and are willing to bare all before anybody (No kinky thoughts please.. this is a serious issue). If in a particularly unpleasant situation or extreme grief, anybody is excused. A man also needs to express his emotions. But people crying after a short squabble or to extract pity is just a disgrace.

Please do not take these words to hear.. You need to know a person very closely before you decide if he is a sissy or not. People very often have very weird ways of expressing themselves. Think about this and the people around you.

FEAR OF PEOPLE WHO CRY...

This people is a very genuine fear. Someone come up with a good scientific -----phobia name. Be very very careful with people who cry, especially men. Never ever oppose them or they will cry. What is so great about someone who cries? you may ask... but the society immediately makes you the villain instead of condemning the person for being a cry baby. The society will consider you a brute who has made a man cry, it will never think of the cause or the consequence. It is something like BMTC bus drivers being blamed for all accidents involving a bus. Really unfair, I know, but life is seldom fair. Never argue with a man who cries

Think about it, The Fear of tears... I bet nobody ever thought of this :P

P.S. The great man mentioned at the beginning of the post is me :D but the effect is always better if it seems like someone else has said it.

P.P.S Well, I don't think anybody wants to know about women crying. I should probably write about some of the things they might not cry for. Since the majority of the blog readers are male and chauvinistic to a certain degree I will speak no further.. comment if you want to say something.

P.P.P.S I simply love putting post scripts.. In case any of you are wondering from where the extra 'P's are coming, it is an inspiration from Tom & Jerry.

P.P.P.P.S I never knew so many people want to read what I read. Thanks to all of you.

P.P.P.P.P.S once again... Exams suck

P.P.P.P.P.P.S ok.. that's enough.. this is getting rather irritating.

Ciao.. May your swords stay sharp and may your eyes stay dry. And may your refill never get empty. ( A sword is a sword and not symbolic to anything else)
Bye.

WARNING 2 PU STUDENTS.. YOU WILL WASTE 5 MINS READING THIS

If you are reading this and you are a second PU student like I am then you are also as jobless as me...

LAST WARNING: Switch off the comp and go study...

You dont want to? then join the club :D

This post is a sincere attempt at social service. I am attempting to try and instill some much needed seriousness in all of us who actually need to write some absolutely annoying F****n, B****y exams.. (Why the hell cant I use these words when our dignified, well educated ex PM himself can)

The beginning of college was a lot of fun. I am sure all of us were very proud to be graduating from school and being called college students. At such a juncture I'm sure all of us never thought of anything more than getting rid of uniforms, getting pocket money and a whole new brand of having fun. Now After 2 years, at a time when all the fun vanishes and hard reality sets in, how many of us are actually without any regret? Definitely not me. I'm regretting almost everything right now. Not studying, not having a lot of fun either, joining this bloody course, not taking anything seriously, wasting time, and the list is endless. We can probably be excused for wasting time during the beginning of the year citing lame reasons like "we have the whole year ahead". But can we be excused for wasting time procrastinating, and mulling over lost time now?? DEFINITELY NOT. Let bye-gones be bye-gones, no use crying over spilled milk.

Lets just make the best of what we have left.. If you are still not serious, call this number 0612351261521856213412132131. IF you are lucky, you might get to speak to GOD. And if you dont want to call God, then atleast call Tirupathi Thirumala Trust and ask them how you can come to work there. Or else the streets of Bangalore are big enough to accomodate few more beggars. Sorry if Ive offended anybody, but i feel its always better to walk on hard ground than float in the air and come crashing down later.

Bye and All the Best

P.S. Congratulations, you have just wasted 5 mins to read this. Now that you have actually wasted 5 mins, waste 2 more commenting and then be kind enough to life your bottom off the chair in front of the computer and go study..

Ma.. ma.. Marriage???

This probably comes under "Things to do when one is bored" which for me is most of the day, so I end up experimenting with a lot of stuff. Lol, I'm not talking about getting married when one is bored, its just the exercise that I am going to recommend.

My uncle (mom's brother) is 37 years old and still unmarried. As a ritual, my mother goes through all the websites like shaadi.com, justmarry.com, jeevansaathi.com, hoping to find a suitable bride for him (I'm going to speak about the suitable part later). I on the other hand give him some more sensible websites to refer to like howtopickachick.com, howthehelldoigetagirl.com, godhelpmeineedagirl.com and other such extremely informative sites. Another every morning ritual is going through the "classifieds" sheet in the newspaper to look for adverts for grooms. This responsible work has been given to me :D and its something i completely enjoy doing. Reading this page is better than any joke book in the whole world. For example...

1. This is an advert for a groom...
Handsome, well educated, matured, smart groom required for vvf(stands for very very fair), cultured, smart, educated girl. Groom should be over 6 ft. Age difference below 5 years. Should be interested in music.

I mean.. WTF do the girl's parents mean by matured?? how do they think they are going to know if the guy who is actually going to marry their daughter is matured? Or do they think that a guy's parents are going to say " OMG they are asking for a matured guy, is my son matured?" The music part is awesome... the girl's parents probably refer to karnatic music, probably because the girl has learnt singing, but what if he turns out to be a hardcore metal/death metal fan?

2. Advert for a bride...
vvf, cultured, gentle and caring girl required for well educated, well paid software executive. Should not be working. Should be well versed with ways and means of brahmin family.

3. THIS FOLKS, IS THE HEIGHTS OF EXPECTATION...
advert for a groom...
Good looking, well educated.. blah, blah blah... groom required for beautiful.. blah, blah blah bride. (Now comes the fun part.. )
*** THE GROOM SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY BROTHERS... IF HE HAS, THEN THEY SHOULD BE LIVING SEPARATELY.
*** THE GROOM SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY SISTERS... IF HE DOES, THEY SHOULD BE MARRIED.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD HAVE INDEPENDENT MEANS OF INCOME.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD NOT OBJECT TO THEIR SON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW LIVING SEPARATELY.
*** THE PARENTS OF THE GROOM SHOULD NOT OBJECT TO THEIR SON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW GOING ABROAD.

I mean WTF do they mean by this whole message. The girl's father should be thrashed and beheaded and his head put up near the entrance to the city with words "MORON" written on his forehead. What does he think marriage is? Guess he would rather prefer the guy's parents dead than alive. Which parent would not want his son to stay with him during his old age? And who would ever want to marry a girl with so many conditions. I guess the unfortunate soul who actually marries her will have to sign a contract or some such thing with more than a 100 other such meaningless clauses.
It wont be surprising if the contract contains clauses like the girl prefers this brand of toilet paper and that the toilet in the groom's house should be maroon in color. Or that the house should have a rose plant and that the guy's parents should not object to her picking roses.

Anyway, I'm not the one getting married so I'm safe and I had my share of laughter reading this. It is kind of scary seeing the increasing demands of the bride's parents. I'm not bothered about all that for atleast a decade. I bet the next generation of grooms will have to pay a "groom"al fee to actually woo the bride's family.

This is a very enjoyable and pleasant exercise. Please read the alliance section of the classifieds sheet as frequently as you can. It is a very enjoyable read. :D

Ciao, and be careful when you marry.. :P

P.S. This topic actually requires atleast 10 more posts, but i really dont have the patience to type all that. Please comment...

P.P.S I forgot to write about the "Suitable" tag for the bride... I will try to write that in the next post if I have the mood.

P.P.S. Exams suck... they suck and should be banned.